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Saturday, December 08, 2012

Day 8 - "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" by Dr. Elmo - 25 Days of Christmas Angst

Has this man watched YOU sleep?
This evening, Cityville police detectives are looking for one Santa "The Saint" Claus in connection with the hit and run homicide of an elderly resident of the township.  The victim's name is being withheld at this time as police continue their investigations.  A witness placed Claus at Chimney's Bar and Grill approximately 30 minutes before the accident.

The victim's blood alcohol level was also at 0.15.  A police spokesperson said, "This is just a tragedy.  We will continue to investigate this crime but we ask that everyone keep the family in their thoughts.  They have a lot of grieving to do, and they have indicated that after they return their elderly relative's Christmas presents they will be planning services for early next week."

Santa Claus often goes by one of several aliases:  Saint Nicholas, Sinterklaas, "Father" Christmas, Papá Noel, Kris Kringle, and Nikolaus.

Claus should be a familiar name to readers of police reports.  In the past Claus has been charged with breaking and entering, unlawful observation (peeping Tom), RICO (racketeering in connection with the illegal toy trade), animal cruelty, kidnapping, child labor law violations, and violating American air space.

He was most recently detained for questioning after a suspicious package was discovered near the fireplace of a local orphanage; Cityville's bomb squad safely detonated the package and found that it contained some of Claus' contraband toys.

Please be on the lookout for this suspect.  Call the Cityville Police Department with  any information you might have that could lead to apprehension of this dangerous suspect.  Do not interact with this suspect; he is believed to be armed and dangerous.

Preview the remaining days of angst or review the previous days here:   
http://www.carneylentz.com/p/25-days-of-christmas-angst.html

I know I am far from the first to make a joke about Santa Claus being a criminal.  But it is too irresistible. 

Then add to that fertile ground a song like "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" (1979 - note that the album is on sale for $5.00 right now) by Elmo and Patsy Trigg Shropshire and you get this blog post.  The song is usually just attributed to "Dr. Elmo."  I could not find a streaming version of the original but here is a bluegrass version on YouTube:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jw-ChE-TP0o

It takes a special kind of twisted sense of humor to appreciate this song.  Thankfully, I have just that sense of humor.  

The drunk grandmother, the vehicular homicide, and the question about what a "Claus mark" is get right down to the fun in dysfunction that surrounds many a family Christmas gathering.  If, however, you are repelled by the concept of such a song I have something for you today too.

 In 2000 a holiday TV special predictibly titled, Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer, was made that explains away all of the sinister, subversive, and wickedly fun parts of this song.  It is a mildly entertaining holiday special that would likely appeal to children.  It is also currently available on YouTube (part #1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cWjR6Ca8DU, part #2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRKT-X-UECc).

By the way, I suspect "Claus marks" are sleigh tracks in the shape of a "C" much like Zoro's calling card.

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
by Dr. Elmo

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

She'd been drinking too much egg nog,
And we'd begged her not to go.
But she forgot her medication,
And she staggered out the door into the snow.

When we found her Christmas morning
At the scene of the attack
She had hoof prints on her forehead
And incriminating Claus marks on her back.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Now were all so proud of Grandpa
He's been takin' this so well
See him in there watchin' football
Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Mel.

It's not Christmas without Grandma
All the family's dressed in black
And we just can't help but wonder
Should we open up her gifts or send them back? (send them back)

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of fig
And the blue and silver candles
That would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig.

I've warned all my friends and neighbors,
"Better watch out for yourselves."
They should never give a license
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we belie-e-eve.  Merry Christmas!

Resources:
"Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" - lyrics - There are some errors in this version but it served as a starting point for what you see above.
http://www.41051.com/xmaslyrics/grandma.html 

"Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grandma_Got_Run_Over_by_a_Reindeer 

"Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer (TV Special)"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grandma_Got_Run_Over_by_a_Reindeer_%28TV_special%29

"Names for Santa Claus Around the World"
http://dearsantaclaus.biz/santanames.htm


25 Days Of Christmas Angst
Day Song Download/Purchase Info
8 "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" by Dr. Elmo Buy the full album:

Buy the song:

Buy the cartoon inspired by this song:
Read my blog post for more about this song.
Santa is like the rest of us, capable of both good and evil.
7 "What's This" from The Nightmare Before Christmas Buy the full album:

Buy the song:

Buy the DVD:

Buy the Blu-Ray:

Amazon Instant Video:
Read my blog post for more about this song.
This song captures how we are supposed to approach the season with childlike wonder and then destroy it with greed.
6 "O Tannenbaum" by Henry Lowman FREE! Read my blog post for more about this song.
Get this free album from C. B. Gitty Crafter Supply. There are other Christmas cigar box guitar albums discussed here.
5 "Christmastime Is Here (Vocal)" from A Charlie Brown Christmas Buy the full album:

Buy the song:

DVD of the show:

Amazon Instant Video:
Read my blog post for more about this song.
The combination of jazz instrumentation and a children's choir is unique. If the nostalgia isn't enough of a reason to enjoy this one, perhaps the fact that it perfectly expresses the melancholy of the Christmas season will give you a reason to listen.

Click this link to preview the remaining days of angst or review the previous days:  http://www.carneylentz.com/p/25-days-of-christmas- angst.html
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